we met in denny's tonight to celebrate viv's 19th b'day. since finals are almost upon us [what happened to all my time??!!!! argghhhh!!!!] it was a great night, the right amount and right mix of people came.
not in an emotionally stable state right now cos i just found out that marissa did really die in the season 3 finale.... there goes all my hope that she and ryan'd get back together. even if summer and seth did get back together.. it just wouldn't be the same.
so, sorry guys for the lack of commentary. hope u enjoy the pics though. it was a great session. and i think i did manage to convert some ppl in to cam-whores. so... mission accomplished!!!! peace out~ :P

when i found i really had to finish the whole plate of fish & chips






the perfect spokesperson




the horror




the worst fish & chips i've ever had




stustu + pidpid


sin hui + wen xian


hui khoon + yi wen


monkey king + viv






they were supposed to be pointing at jason [for what? i dun know :P]


dun ask!


tired much?




this is wen xian's idea of 'pan cute'


kent @ the seducer putting on the moves.. on his er.. glass of water


looks as though denny's ran out of chairs


hehe, just for laughs [but i think pink's his color]


happy 19th viv!!!


viv, is the cake really that bad?


yum~


cam-whoring in session




i think you all can guess who's the mystery man?




any + yi wen [notice the backgrounds]


hui khoon + the b'day girl


any + my feet/shoe fetish




aiyo.. sayang~

do you know how hard it is to take a perfect shot? take a look at this:



btw, this's the edited version. in total, there were about 4 other outakes.


ahh, finally


sin hui + any


hui khoon + any


any + me


releasing all my stress on poor sin hui


finally, a shot of me and hui khoon


haha, finally, zi hou blending in with his 'surroundings'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVIAN! and thanks guys for comin!!! we had great fun~

look what've we got here... presents!!! they're for viv and boon ying whose birthdays fall on sunday; 21st June. since finals are approaching and we've just been steamrollered by a few tests... why don't we take it easy? lunch in danny's tomorrow? yup, guess i'll see you there. ciao amigos~

*What I Need*

A page, I don't read
A tear, I don't shed
A handshake, I don't offer
A smile, I don't give.

A song, makes me sing
A joke, makes me laugh
A tragedy, makes me cry
A friend, makes me smile

Hope, I pray for
Forgiveness, I beg for
Understanding, I ask of you
Patience, you've given to me.

An apology is what I need.

*Paint The Silence*
By: South

How can you say your life is empty
So late in the day
Why would you stay another second
Now your sight got in the way
A combination
Of love and aggression
Another second lived

Don't paint the silence black now save me
Don't leave it a day
You got a right to stand or die so maybe
You take chances all the same
Pain comes in stages
If we dont make it
Nothing changes

Now the violence sleeps inside
Abandoned feeling for just a piece of mind
It's the reason why your teething side frustrates me

Now the violence sleeps inside
Abandoned feeling for just a piece of mind
It's the reason why your teething side irates me

Dont leave me to pick up on your questions
Not even a day
It's alright to finish up your sentence
You talk all the same
Pain comes in stages if we don't make it
Nothing changes

Now the violence sleeps inside
Abandoned feeling for just a piece of mind
It's the reason why your teething side frustrates me

Now the violence sleeps inside
Abandoned feeling for just a piece of mind
It's the reason why your teething side irates me

it's now 9.22pm and i say i feel a tad better. At the time above.. man i felt like crap. And i may have scared/scarred Maarish....

it's been building up for a couple of days/week [or why not my whole life?] and suddenly it just burst open. As you may have noticed, my previous post until this point have been fairly mild, colourful and even cheerful most of the time. But today.. i just can't do it.

My friends from back home 'll most prob understand my issues/history with my step-mum. And maybe most of them remember the pivotal moment when i literally saw my life flash before me.

My finals start on the 5th... and so does my nightmare. I know my emotional state has never been very stable... i become depressed at certain times of the year.

1) Mother's Day
2) My birthday
3) When I'm stressed out

I had a really frightening nightmare yesterday. It was raining really heavily, even the electricity, buildings and communication were wiped out. In my dream, I couldn't get a signal on my phone. I tried calling leonie, but couldn't get through. I tried calling my dad too, and i couldn't get him also.

Hours later, leo smsed me back. God, was i relieved. But still, i couldn't reach my dad. I was in a real panic. I was in my grandfather's house in B.P.... I waited and waited. It was getting dark... there were so many people around but i still felt like i was in an isolated bubble not really knowing what i was doing or what was happening. All i could think of was reaching my dad and then everything 'll be alright and nothing else mattered.

I walked into the house... and i see my mum's picture i keep tacked on my shelf falling.. i fear it is a bad omen...

I woke up suddenly.... confused and my heart was beating uncontrollably. It was raining. Really heavily. It was dark. I switched on the light. And what i saw made my heart jump. My mum's photo had really fallen. It was on my laptop instead. I was really afraid now.

I did not want to worry my dad; i was worried about him. I smsed him asking him if everything's alright.

He called me back... he was alright. I breathe a sigh of relieve. I was so glad to hear his voice.

He said he's coming up to KLCC with my step-mum to watch GREASE and it'd run pretty late so dun think can come over to visit. I felt a pang in my heart. Elaborating why would only make me feel worse, so we'll skip this part. He then asked whether i'll be back for the weekend. I said no. He said good, I should focus on my finals. And he asked how my finals was. I dunno what happened to my dad, usually he remembers, but i've told him so many times that my finals only begin in june. Suddenly, i feel insignificant and really small... vunerable.. like a 5 year old child.

Then, he proceeded to talking bout buying pounds when the currency drops. And that it would be cheaper if i withdrew cash in pounds when i'm in london.

This was not the conversation i was expecting. Clearly.

I recognize i've many unresolved issues, especially with my step-mum. I'm so sick of people telling me that things will get better after i leave home for uni. but guess what? IT DOESN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a matter of fact, it gets worse... every single day.

Forgive me dear Lord,
for i cried today eventhough i said i would not.

Don't Give Up On Me
[Solomon Burke]

If I fall short
If I don't make the grade
If you're expectations aren't met in me today
There's always tomorrow, or tomorrow night
Hang in there, baby
Sooner or later I know I'll get it right

Please don't give up on me
Oh please don't give up on me
I know It's late, late in the game
But my feelings, my true feelings haven't changed
Here in my heart I know, I know I was wrong, wrong, wrong
I'd like to make amends for the love that I've never ever, ever, ever shown
Just don't give up on me, every word is true

I'll give you my everything, all of my love,
All of my love, all of my love, love, love to you
Just don't give up on me,
oh please, please, please don't give up on me
I don't want you to
I know It's late, but wait please, please, please, please don't give up on me
Promise, will you promise me, will you promise me
Please don't give up on me

We can make it if we try
I'm going to hold on, hold on with me
And don't give up on me
Oh baby don't give up on me
Whatever you do we'll make it though
Don't you give up on me,
Please, please, please promise me,
Don't give up on me

happy mother's day.. i miss you... god bless

An example of an asshole: [stolen from leo's blog]It happens again~!!!

An example of an asshole: [stolen from leo's blog]

It happens again~!!!

You want to know what the hell I found out yesterday? AARON HAS A GIRLFRIEND~!!! And if it is not bad enough, FOR A FEW MONTHS ALREADY~!!! I try not to let it bother me because I was kind of going to spend the whole day with him. Well.. I did keep my composure during the day time because he did not act like he has a girlfriend at all.

on the way home though, i ask one of my close friends when did he and his girlfriend got together, she told me a few months already, i so damn bloody chuak sai ok... so sedih... see, i'm not imagining it~!!! he really does not tell me a bout his girlfriends at all... only after he breaks up, long long time later only he will tell, 'oh this girl is my ex, that girl is my ex' like that... if not then i will find out from other people's mouth. what the heck~!!!

the whole day yesterday he really can act like he dun have girlfriend, ok. can share all kinds of dirty jokes lar... can tease lar... can ask for massages lar... why must i always be the last one to know of his girlfriend?

then the girl is also one of my camp's participants that is very friendly to me. where i want to put my face? then ar... somemore, when friends tease about the both of us right, he won't memberontak or get angry lor... can join in and add on macam encouraging like that~!!! then? what is that suppose to mean? i tak faham lar~!!!

*edited for privacy

this is not the first time this is happening. the question is: why?

guys like this make girls feel like crap! the thing to do, is to be HONEST.

i told leo that there maybe 2 reasons y he doesn't tell her. but they are both contradictive to each other

1) he knows leo likes him but he doesn't like her back, therefore dun want to hurt her

this leads to:
2) then all the more he should tell rite? so she doesn't keep going after him!

so, pls guys that are reading this [or girls with similar situations] respond and maybe we can solve this 'mystery' on y some guys are such assholes.

leo, cheer up.. he's not worth it.

it started out a very sunny day...


but it proceeded to this... :(


housemates are away for the weekend. studied physio till i almost went mad [on second thought, i think talking to myself counts already]


all the way through studying, The O.C was on. contary to popular beliefs, multi-tasking does seems to enhance concentration [althought i'm sure yee'd beg to differ]

and also, today i finally conquered one of my fears. The uncertainty of the future. i finally watched the whole of The O.C season 2. I'm a fan of ryan and marissa + seth and summer. but in season 2, they got back together only quite late in the season. i'm a sucker for happy endings. Today, i realised that although the journey itself is sad, but the ending was happy and that's all that counts. Since i knew season 2 had a semi-happy ending, i watched it. ok, u'd might be confused but... hey! this is me ranting :P


haha, and finally when i couldn't stand it... i created this!!!

ahh~ studying is so fun!

Not only has The O.C changed my sleeping patterns, it had also changed my music tastes. My music palate pre-O.C went something like this:

Pre- O.C

Linkin Park
Eminem
Britney Spears
Goo-Goo Dolls
Alicia Keys
Kelly Clarkson
Simple Plan
Black Eyed Peas
....

Post O.C

All-American Rejects
The Killers
Weezer
Rooney
Damien Rice
Finley Quaye
Coldplay
Fallout Boy
Phantom Planet
Jeff Buckley
Jem
...

The Topic of the Month:
EMO-tionally Unstable

In the latest issue of hot magazine, there was an article regarding EMO-bands. To start things off, let's put the word EMO in definition.

Emo is a subgenre of hardcore punk music.

The term emo was derived from the fact that, on occasion, members of a band would become spontaneously and literally emotional during performances. The most recognizable names of the period included Rites of Spring, Embrace, One Last Wish, Beefeater, Gray Matter, Fire Party, and, slightly later, Moss Icon. The first wave of emo began to fade after the breakups of most of the involved bands in the early 1990s. As the remaining indie emo bands entered the mainstream, newer bands began to emulate the more mainstream style, creating a style of music that has now earned the moniker emo within popular culture. (Wikipedia, 2006)

In The O.C, many emo bands were introduced thanks to Adam Brody's on-screen character; Seth Cohen. One prominent band was Rooney. Though they didn't really catch my fancy, some bands did.

The All-American Rejects did with the catchy 'Swing-Swing'


AAR are not new to the music scene. Neither are their songs unheard of. I'm sure you've heard of 'Dirty Little Secrets' and the current single 'Move Along'. Last I heard, their album, also titled 'Move Along' went double-platinum.

*Tid-bits*

"Swing, Swing"

Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone.
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new

[Chorus]
(Swing) Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.

Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold
and so do I to a new love.

Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new

(Swing) Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again

Bury me
(you thought your problems were gone)
Carry me
(away. away, away...)

(Swing) Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again

"Dirty Little Secret"

Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
When we live such fragile lives
It's the best way we survive
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you

Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret

Who has to know
The way she feels inside (inside)
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)
These sleeping dogs won't lie (won't lie)
And all I've tried to hide
It’s eating me apart
Trace this line back

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret)

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Dirty little secret
Dirty little secret

Who has to know
Who has to know

"Move Along"

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along